Anyone parle punani patois?

My TSS Inbox is in a constant flux of ebb and flow. Never less than one new message a day. But when I update my profile or post a Dear Diary entry, there can be anywhere up to forty or fifty.

I don’t even count winks and requests for more photos – those computer-generated replies are – to me – the ultimate in laziness and scream lack of imagination or genuine interest in this whole thing. Its kind of like just taking potluck. If you throw enough out there, hey you might just get lucky!

Just not with me, dude (unless, of course, you are really, really ridiculously good-looking. Hey! Don’t judge me. I already admitted that I’m a total aesthetic whore.).

But I mean, if an automatic cyber message is the only way a guy can think of catching my attention, well then the dude gets as good as he gives. And about as much time and effort as he afforded me – a millisecond.

And I guess I am not quite as unshockable as I might have thought after over a month (almost two?) on TSS because there are still the ones that make me blush. Like AJ, 29:

Sexy toes … can I suck them while I fuck Ur pussy good?

Sweet Baby Jesus, AJ. Does your mother know you talk like that?

(My profile pic, btw, is a close-up of my feet after a fab pedicure.)

Now for just the pure crazy (or illiterate?): Bertie 49 – okay, I know that English is probably his second language, but seriously? I defy even him to make sense of what he wrote to me:

Hi. 
I like yr profile. Am visiting Pyou.E soon and will NSA with

Hummmm ... Is this aversion to actually reading what you type before sending it contagious or something? Because the very next message in my Inbox from Valentino, 31, was this:

hey there sweety wuu2

Like I said before … Anyone understand the patois of the Punani Seeker?

x

Words can only hurt you if you try to read them. Don't play their game!

Derek Zoolander