Ethical Slut. An oxymoron? Hardly …

“An oxymoron, you say? Hardly. It's one thing to 
be a slut and another thing to be ethical.”

I am seriously thinking about buying this book: The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt. 

Basically, it’s all about how you can live your life in an honest and open way with more than one lover at the same time.

I so have to buy it! I mean it has chapters on just about everything, from how to find and keep partners, to tips on handling scheduling with various partners (how incredibly Martha Stewart and grown up!) to (get this!) “Etiquette for group sexual encounters”. (I know Mum would approve. She is always so worried about what other people think and the way my sisters and I conduct ourselves in public.). 

Now tell me this does not sound like the best book ever!

The term “slut” is reclaimed from its slang meaning and is seen “as a term of approval, even endearment. To us, a slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you”.

How cool? I think this is my kind of book!

“We believe that it is fundamentally a radical political act to deprivatize sex. So much oppression in our culture is based on shame about sex: the oppression of women, of cultural minorities, oppression in the name of the (presumably asexual) family, oppression of sexual minorities. We are all oppressed. We have all been taught, one way or another, that our desires, our bodies, our sexualities, are shameful. What better way to defeat oppression than to get together in communities and celebrate the wonders of sex?

... It is amazing to us to think ... that most people in our culture have never had a chance to watch another person enjoy sex. No wonder we worry so much about our appearance.”

I have a feeling that The Ethical Slut could be my own personal bible in this whole quest of mine. And at the very least, a life line. These last couple of weeks I have had moments of crippling guilt brought on by my conditioning: the Very Christian, Very Moralistic, Very Proper Ideals of my family, my class and my surroundings (Yes, it IS still a total mind fuck being back here in this constricting society after so many years of relative freedom and maturity of Continental Europe).

And I so don’t want to look back and admit that I threw this whole experiment out the window for fear of going to Hell for it!

I don’t, however, think that I should add this particular book to my Wish List on Amazon. Might make for some awkward looks from the family at Christmas when we open our presents.

x

"Easy": Is there, we wonder, some value in being difficult?

The Ethical Slut