Who wants to be King of Lesotho anyway?

So Mr. Licentious the Litigating Lover read my blog post about Mr. Maybe claiming to be The King of Cunnilingus and had this to say on the subject:

"So I'm confused about Mr. Maybe. Have you been with him? Haven't you? Is he the King of Cunnilingus or does he just claim to be? I bet I could knock his useless ass off his throne. I'm not bragging. I'm just stating facts. Anyway, being King of Cunnilingus is like being King of Lesotho. I would rather be King of Dick Fucking, for we all know that is what counts. That would be like being King of Russia. That's what I think anyway. Russia has gold, Siberian tigers, big trout and good-looking sluts are a dime a dozen. Who wouldn't want to be king of that shit?"

Oh wow! I so need to get my ass up to Joburg to meet this guy.

Or not.

I mean it’s never great meeting a potential hook-up and there being no spark. But to lose a half-decent conversationalist? Now that in my books … that would just be stupid.

Especially since I am still soldiering on with Hugo The Hunk (yes, his body and face ARE all that) but it is by no means easy going.

After the whole counselling session re: crushing on Mr. X, we carried on chatting:

"ME: Shit! Okay, my bad! But I AM so new to this and I can make one mistake, can't I? Anyway, they always say you remember your first. So there we go, that is out of the way now. I have that one (my Mr. X) that I kind of fell in love with. But now its time to play with others. … If I have the nerve that is. Oh, I so wish I was in CT so I could meet you and you could show me the ropes ... I mean, I don't want to be a sexual predator or anything. I just want some fun s-x with some one who will be straight and honest with me. Hmmmm .... Now ... where to go from here? ;)

HUGO: lol Now your talking my language.. lol fun fun fun.. don't take things so darn cerious.. So you up for talking with me? via voice that is..

ME: Hmmmm, but where would that lead babes? Phone sex? Never done anything like that before. And I really don't think I am up for it. I am so so so frustrated and I only really want the real thing ... not more sexy talking then no action. I just couldn't handle it! Sorry to be so frank, but that is REALLY where I am at right now.

HUGO: ... hahaha.. well for 1 I don't really like the phonesex thing.. neither do i think its cool doing it while I'm at work ... and your point i suppose is vallid but then if you think about it it probebly makes this email chat between us pointless aswell. hahaha. Don’t you think? Like you i also prefer the real thing.. way better.. but I also love getting to know people and how they tick. haha ha lets say I love seico analizing."

I mean, it's kind of a turn-off to read psychoanalysing spelt like that (and why is everything in his little cyber-world so freakin’ “lol” and “hahaha” all the time? What is he smoking that I haven’t heard of?).

Am I being unreasonable?

Is my libido a punctuation and grammar snob?

I’m thinking too much, aren’t I?

I should just listen to Hugo and not take everything so darn cerious.

x

“A woman’s most erogenous zone is her mind.”

Raquel Welch