Losing my virginity

I wonder: If I could lose my virginity all over again and do it with an older, more experienced man, would it be better?

Because the first time totally sucked!

And no, it was not down to the circumstances in which it happened. It could not have been more perfect. All the boxes were ticked:

1. He was a good match, my first - same background, similar senses of humour, etc.
2. We had been going out for two years 
3. He was older than me, not a virgin and therefore - theoretically - more experienced
4. We were totally alone - no parents in the house 
5. It was 100% my decision 

So I had it all planned out, down to the last T - like a military operation. There was champagne (okay, sparkling wine .. but when you’re 20, what’s the difference, right?), candles everywhere, the four poster bed. And we had been doing trial runs all week … well, lots of “dry humping” as his digsmates called it. So I decided that I was now ready for the real thing.

It could not have been more perfect. It WAS perfect … In theory.

Except it was horrible. Terrible!  Despite the candlelight, the roses, the wine  … it totally sucked!  When he finally entered me … I felt like I wanted to … do a No. 2.  Seriously! Embarrassing admission. But that is the Honest-to-God Truth!

And Kim, your question on Yahoo Answers ... yep! That's pretty much what it feels like!

I was so disappointed. I was horrified by the appalling discomfort of it all rather than the huge explosion I was expecting and had heard so much about.  Obviously, I was so pissed off with No. 1 the next day that I refused to talk to him at all, except to give him directions to the Chemist to get me the morning after pill.

Later on, he admitted to me that he thought I was going to break up with him.  I almost did. But my mother always said that you marry the first guy you sleep with … so I carried on deluding myself into believing that one for another couple of years.

Oh well, I shouldn’t beat myself up about it. Like the psychologist Joyce Brothers said:

“Virginity is such a personal thing. You can't judge anyone on it. A lot of young women feel they want to save themselves for the man who they think they'll love forever.”

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