Thursday 30 May 2013

Make love, not war

I really think its time to delete this account on TSS. No good is coming from it.

I have already had 4 major arguments … No. I can’t believe it either.

But two of them were from Johannesburg. And all were under the age of 35. Does that make it more understandable? I think so, considering the mental maturity of a male is supposedly at least 5 years less than that of a female’s.

Anyway, apropos of these chats that (quite quickly) degenerated into coming to blows, I am fast acquiring a distinct aversion to boys under the age of 30, especially those in the Gauteng area.

But am I being unreasonable?

Quick summary: this one boy emailed me from Joburg and, purely because he professed to be a “wordsmith”, I sent him a message and gave him my email address, stressing that, while I was not into long-distance anything, it might be cool to keep in touch purely to swap war stories / mutual amusement over the use of the English language on this site -- not seeing the gratification in sexting / webcam fun / whatever people 600 kms apart or more do with one another when meeting over a site like this.

I didn’t check my email the following day but was logged on here and saw that he was online too. So I winked at him. He replies with his phone number. Umm, what am I supposed to do with that? Seriously?? WTF am I supposed to do with some random’s phone number?? So I said as much ..… and pointed out that I give my number out rarely, if ever, and on top of that would never pay for anything relating to this site, let alone phone calls …

Oh, just read the mail for yourself:

‘Dude. 
I am kind of speechless.
 But I don't think you are going to see it from my point of view so ... I don't know why I am even bothering.
 But AS IF I am going to phone you.
 And I only give my phone number out after …. well, hardly ever really. Only to guys that I am actually about to or going to meet.
 Anyway, I did give you my email.
 And I don’t give that to just anyone either ....
 My rule of thumb is: maybe email.
 Then Gmail Chat 
….. and ….. rarely, if ever phone number .... 
I don't mean to sound conceited. But yes, I do get that many messages. And no, I would never pay for anything .... I don't pay for this site. 
I would never pay for a phone call to some random (however good his spelling) 
And that you think I would ...
. You still don't get it, do you?’
His reply?
I get it princess...moving on.
 You do come across as conceited. Bugger my spelling. I never expected you to call me. Thought we could chat via What's App or something, but as you say, why would you ever spend any money on someone else. I found your message witty that's why I replied, but since I'm sure your inbox is overflowing with compliments let me leave you to wallow in the awesomeness that is "Heather", and yes, you wasted your time messaging me.
Harsh? Or was I just asking for it?

And a couple of pointers, Steve 28 (and therefore mental age of about 23) from Very Far Away, from my point of view, one does not WALLOW in something as awesome as Heather. One REVELS in it.

Wallowing is something that hippos do.

Okay, so the dictionary says that to wallow is to “take swinish or gross delight in sensuality, etc” but first and foremost to “roll about in mud, sand, water, etc”, “place to which buffaloes, etc. resort to”.

1. I never wallow. I revel.

2. I am not a buffalo. I am 5.6 metres tall and weigh 54 kilograms. And the only thing I have ‘resorted to’ in my adult life is this site and the occasional line .…

Uurgh! I am bored with this already. But last thing: I am most definitely not conceited. I was simply stating a fact. On any given day I have between 5 to 50 messages / winks / favourites. And I know, without even looking into stats, that you guys far outweigh us girls on this site. So it was merely a fact, not a conceited opinion on my part.

Anyway, onto No. 2.

He was charming, nice photos. Okay, okay, I admit, his profile photos were so nice. Very tasteful: Not a piece of boerewors in sight but many allusions thereto … but before you can say “NSA”, he started asking for more photos and Skype chats, and phone numbers.

Um, demanding much?

Obviously, I declined. I mean, he’s in the Transvaal. I am in KZN. He’s a kid. Really? Am I really going to invest so much time and effort in a virtual relationship?

So I backed off and he instantly accused me of having a fake profile and not being who I professed to be.

Conversation-killer much, Craigv87?

But again, why would I want numerous photos of me out there floating on the WWW or to spend hours on end chatting to some one I don’t even know over Skype, especially a demanding pissy kid?

He said: 

‘Well with the number of people from the site who have given me the same excuses and then just vanished into obscurity once they have received a few pics I don't believe it was so outrages for me to ask.’
Hmmm. Two points:

1. ‘Outrageous’

2. I see a common denominator here. And it’s NOT me.

But here I still am.

What can I say? I’m a sucker for punishment …

On the plus side, the older guys from Gauteng are much more hands-on and pragmatic with all this: Offers of meeting for drinks / dinner when they are down here in KZN. At least that is realistic. But these kids from the next generation and their penchant for sexting / dirty sms’s / Skype chatting. Call me old-fashioned. But isn’t sex all about sex IN PERSON / dirtying the sheets, not your phone / videoing the act together not virtually stok aleen in front of a camera?

Now the question remains: dare I? Especially after the last complete SNAFU of a meeting.


"Online dating is just as murky and full of lemons as finding a used car in the classifieds. Once you learn the lingo, it's easier to spot the models with high mileage and no warranty."

LAURIE PERRY

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