My Gmail Inbox the day after my
attempted meeting with Mr. Maybe contained not one, not two, but five emails
from him:
7:40: I
wish I had got your message yesterday....
Give me a day and I will be there....
9:30: Why
don’t you go onto your mail earlier in the day?? You are the tease .......
Mmmm, we will see who makes who beg.... if only you had an idea......
11:50: I will meet you any time for an introductory drink if you
give me more than 30 minutes’ warning....
13:20: Plans for the weekend?
14:00: ..... Oh my, lol ...Come on, open your damn e-mails.....
I was tempted. So tempted to meet
him. But I was totally fucked up on this particular morning (well … early
afternoon really).
I felt like my head was encased in
cotton wool, like I was wading through concrete. Pity. Otherwise it would have been
the perfect day to meet him (yes, owing very much in part to a whole lot of steamy
sexting sessions with Sharky-Shark). Zombie because the previous night I
tried to break my crazy sleeping pattern. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve
been staying up until sunrise and then crashing, only to wake up again at
midday.
Unfortunately, living in a new
place, I don’t have my usual contacts – like a chemist I’ve known all my life
and can ask for anything (without a prescription). As I found out in the worst possible
way yesterday afternoon when I went to the chemist. I walked up to the
prescription counter, explained my dilemma to the guy in the white coat there
and asked if he could give me a couple of sleeping pills to get my sleeping
pattern back to normal. He came back with a packet that looked suspiciously
like Smarties, but promised me (despite my vocal misgivings) that they would
work.
Hmmm, I was sceptical. After all, I
do have a very high tolerance for drugs. But there were 12 pills in the packet
so … whatever. If he said they would work, I was not exactly in a position to start
demanding hardcore drugs from a new chemist (first impressions and all). As I made my way to the cashier, I
cursed the fact that I was living in the Midlands (the province I live in is
referred to – rather aptly - as The Last British Outpost. There stood two old (er) women, some
one’s grandmother, very proper and very Midlands (read: Very Correct, Very
Stiff Upper Lip, Very Christian). Now how on earth could I ask them
for, say, Lube or condoms? I think they would have fallen over right there in
front of me. And I know myself too well – I would have been too embarrassed to
EVER go in there again. And, since this is one of only two chemists in the very
small town I am living in at the moment, I am SO not chancing that! So I left only with (what still suspiciously
looked like) a packet of Smarties.
Around midnight, as much as I wanted
to stay up smoking / reading / writing / dancing / getting stoned, I didn’t. Instead, I took three of these
pills, settled down and waited the supposed 20 minutes that these pills
supposedly need to take effect. I guess I drifted off because
suddenly I woke up. But I had only been asleep for about an hour.
What the hell is this? I just got
ripped off by a goddamn chemist for Christ’s sake! I do not believe this! I lay
there cursing the guy in the white coat who had served me (bad service dude … B-A-D!).
Come 3 a.m. and I was still awake.
So I took another two, tossed and turned for what felt like forever but must
have fallen asleep eventually because when I woke up it was 12:30 noon.
Fuck! I went to bed 12 hours ago to
try and fix my sleeping pattern and be up by 7 or 8 am … but here I was, back
to Square One. Or actually a couple of steps back from
Square One.
Because when I got out of bed … Man!
I could I hardly move. I felt like I had been whacked over the head with a sledgehammer.
These pills were the pits! I felt totally disorientated and groggy and leaden
down with Jelly Legs and a heavy head.
So there I was, wanting so badly to
send a message to Mr. Maybe to meet up. But feeling so totally and utterly out
of it that I can hardly bring myself to pull on a pair of jeans and go and buy
milk, let alone meet up with a potential lover.
Urgh! What a bummer. So … Horizontal Day for me. Just not
the kind I had envisaged.
Oh bugger! Off to bed again. These pills
seriously f**ked me up (and not in a good way).
x
“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds.
You get to be alive and unconscious.”
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