I SO should have heard the warning bells loud and clear when The Douche wrote me this UN-Believably un-erotic email in an attempt to get me to meet him in person:
Mr Douche: I entered into the F-Buddy thing (also my first time, incidentally) because I thought I might find someone who would be prepared to carry out a purely physical relationship, at least for the time being. So, I suppose I really do hope for an NSA arrangement for now.
If this is NQOCOTD for you then I may still be interested in having you as a friend to go to the odd movie with, etc.
So you have the possibility of someone to suck your tits and fuck you from time to time (whenever you summoned me on Gmail). A relationship? Probably not at this time. Also, I would want to restrict communication to Gmail, because cellphones just cause trouble...
His reply should have been the Big Clanger. His complete lack of humour and dry tone could have stripped paint off a wall! (Btw, I had to date sent him one photo of me in a bikini – shot at a distance of about 10 feet on the rooftop of a hotel in Barcelona a year ago):
Mr Douche: The drink sounds good.
I can write. And I can write erotic stuff if I put my mind to it. However, at the moment I think it is important that we call a spade a spade... It is hard for me to get my passion and sexual, creative juices running based on a very dark picture of a set of chilogers and shoulders and a horizon shot of half a bikini-clad torso in a swimming pool.
Any more pics for me? What are the chances of you sending me one of your pussy (no identifying features necessary)...?
Eeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!
I should have blocked him there and then.
Mr Douche: I entered into the F-Buddy thing (also my first time, incidentally) because I thought I might find someone who would be prepared to carry out a purely physical relationship, at least for the time being. So, I suppose I really do hope for an NSA arrangement for now.
If this is NQOCOTD for you then I may still be interested in having you as a friend to go to the odd movie with, etc.
So you have the possibility of someone to suck your tits and fuck you from time to time (whenever you summoned me on Gmail). A relationship? Probably not at this time. Also, I would want to restrict communication to Gmail, because cellphones just cause trouble...
Me: Hmmm ... onto more explicit talk now, I see. Good thing you didn't go into writing Erotic Literature as a profession ... Oh well ... I’m pretty deep in this already, so why not meet up at least for a drink? I'll let you know ... Maybe later this week?
(What can I say, in my defense, your Honour? I was bored. He was nearby, willing and - damn my addiction for the written word - had good spelling.)
His reply should have been the Big Clanger. His complete lack of humour and dry tone could have stripped paint off a wall! (Btw, I had to date sent him one photo of me in a bikini – shot at a distance of about 10 feet on the rooftop of a hotel in Barcelona a year ago):
Mr Douche: The drink sounds good.
I can write. And I can write erotic stuff if I put my mind to it. However, at the moment I think it is important that we call a spade a spade... It is hard for me to get my passion and sexual, creative juices running based on a very dark picture of a set of chilogers and shoulders and a horizon shot of half a bikini-clad torso in a swimming pool.
Any more pics for me? What are the chances of you sending me one of your pussy (no identifying features necessary)...?
Eeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!
I should have blocked him there and then.
x
Question: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
Answer: A doberman pinscher.
No comments:
Post a Comment