So I opened my Inbox on TSS the day after my diary post on Big Willy Profile Pics.
I settled back waiting to be propositioned (usually accompanied by a side order of one of the following: titillated / charmed / shocked / insulted / amused / appalled / rendered speechless) by the messages waiting for me. Thus, imagine the unpleasant surprise of finding not one, but two, messages from that creepy, uncomfortable, unattractive individual: The Lawyer aka The Mistake aka The Douche.
Well, looks like I am still paying for that lack of judgement call (and, as I said, renaming him the Douche … finger SO on the pulse!). Because check this out (all in response to to a couple of lines vaguely referring to him) and I mean, seriously? How self-involved can one person be?
Well, in his case, this self-involved:
I settled back waiting to be propositioned (usually accompanied by a side order of one of the following: titillated / charmed / shocked / insulted / amused / appalled / rendered speechless) by the messages waiting for me. Thus, imagine the unpleasant surprise of finding not one, but two, messages from that creepy, uncomfortable, unattractive individual: The Lawyer aka The Mistake aka The Douche.
Well, looks like I am still paying for that lack of judgement call (and, as I said, renaming him the Douche … finger SO on the pulse!). Because check this out (all in response to to a couple of lines vaguely referring to him) and I mean, seriously? How self-involved can one person be?
Well, in his case, this self-involved:
Today at 3:25pm —
SUBJECT: Not entirely sure why you are so antagonistic... Hi E. I am still not entirely sure why you have got so antagonistic towards me. It really floors me actually. If I have hurt you in some way, it was unintentional and I am sorry. I had a very good reason for asking you to take down the post and I am very grateful to you that you did. I don't see it as "caving" in any way. You just did me a favour. Regards,
Today at 5:50pm —
Like: “I’ve got better things to do”. Okay, then ... prove it you tosser and stop bugging me!
And “antagonistic towards me”? WTF? I had mentioned him briefly, not with affection, but by no stretch of the imagination had I been antagonistic!
Mountain … mole hill … per haps?
Also, I hate to point this out. But if you really want to be nit-picky about all this, let’s look at your afternoon, Mr. Lawyer Who is Supposed to be Concentrating All His Energy on Opening a New Practice in Another City:
10:14: You look at my profile on TSS (yes, I can see if and when and how often you check me out. And yes, I find it distinctly creepy that you do – once a week to be exact, even though we have had Zero contact since that ill-fated coffee 34 days ago!).
13:35: You look at my profile again.
15:25: You write me Email No. 1 - obviously having stewed over it all morning and throughout lunch. Not enough stewing, though I guess because:
17:50: You are back again.
In a nutshell, I’d say your entire day was taken up thinking about and expending energy over several lines in a diary post.
Seriously? Let it go already dude!
But that was my sane side talking. My less rational side was livid. Beyond furious and itching for a fight / show down.
Potential replies were flashing through my mind:
How DARE you threaten me??
(Quick recap of what he said: “close to relying on Clause 9 … which will allow me to get you shut down and have your identity disclosed to me .. blah blah crap”). (And, please excuse my language here but ...)
You complete fucking arsehole! How dare you? How fucking dare you?!! You try and use your bullshit lawyer jargon to frighten me? And, if you succeed, then what exactly? I have to shut up and saying nothing about you at all, not even draw a passing comparison. Nada. Klum. Niet. Niks. Rien? Seriously? Or, perhaps, I am allowed to write about you if I am complimentary. Is that an option?
No, but seriously now: WTF?!!
Who do you think you are anyway? The Dear Diary Nazi Police Who Can Tell Me What I Can or Cannot Feel and / or Post? Seriously? Take that Serious Stick out your ass and lighten up dude! Its just my musings … my insignificant, inconsequential mind meanderings!
That was just the tangent in my mind though. I didn't reply to him.
Off to have a HUGE drink now. I beyond need it.
SUBJECT: Terms of UseI couldn’t believe the absurdity of all this – and the contradictions!
Given the way you have treated me I should also mention that I am getting close to relying on Clause 9 of the Terms of Agreement of your site, which amongst other things, will allow me to get you shut down and have your identity disclosed to me. If you will be happy to drop this matter, however, so will I. I've got better things to do. I have tried to be civil to you. I thought we had some mutual respect between us. At one stage I even thought we could even be friends. But you slapped me in the face. That said, I am still grateful to you for taking down the post. Keep well.
Like: “I’ve got better things to do”. Okay, then ... prove it you tosser and stop bugging me!
And “antagonistic towards me”? WTF? I had mentioned him briefly, not with affection, but by no stretch of the imagination had I been antagonistic!
Mountain … mole hill … per haps?
Also, I hate to point this out. But if you really want to be nit-picky about all this, let’s look at your afternoon, Mr. Lawyer Who is Supposed to be Concentrating All His Energy on Opening a New Practice in Another City:
10:14: You look at my profile on TSS (yes, I can see if and when and how often you check me out. And yes, I find it distinctly creepy that you do – once a week to be exact, even though we have had Zero contact since that ill-fated coffee 34 days ago!).
13:35: You look at my profile again.
15:25: You write me Email No. 1 - obviously having stewed over it all morning and throughout lunch. Not enough stewing, though I guess because:
17:50: You are back again.
In a nutshell, I’d say your entire day was taken up thinking about and expending energy over several lines in a diary post.
Seriously? Let it go already dude!
But that was my sane side talking. My less rational side was livid. Beyond furious and itching for a fight / show down.
Potential replies were flashing through my mind:
How DARE you threaten me??
(Quick recap of what he said: “close to relying on Clause 9 … which will allow me to get you shut down and have your identity disclosed to me .. blah blah crap”). (And, please excuse my language here but ...)
You complete fucking arsehole! How dare you? How fucking dare you?!! You try and use your bullshit lawyer jargon to frighten me? And, if you succeed, then what exactly? I have to shut up and saying nothing about you at all, not even draw a passing comparison. Nada. Klum. Niet. Niks. Rien? Seriously? Or, perhaps, I am allowed to write about you if I am complimentary. Is that an option?
No, but seriously now: WTF?!!
Who do you think you are anyway? The Dear Diary Nazi Police Who Can Tell Me What I Can or Cannot Feel and / or Post? Seriously? Take that Serious Stick out your ass and lighten up dude! Its just my musings … my insignificant, inconsequential mind meanderings!
That was just the tangent in my mind though. I didn't reply to him.
Off to have a HUGE drink now. I beyond need it.
x
Question: You are in a room with Mussolini, Hitler, and the lawyer of your choice.
You have a gun, but only two bullets. Which do you shoot?
Answer: The lawyer, twice.
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